CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER: 01
“How do you think I should win over Joan?”
Topher sat in his bedroom, at his computer while Abe was on the edge of his bed, endlessly scrolling on Topher's phone.
The two of them had been at this for hours, talking back and forth while on the internet. Abe had learned earlier that day that Joan had made a social media account, of which she and her friends had posted pictures of her back-to-back.
Topher had grown used to Abes’ whining over her by now, that hadn’t meant he still didn’t get annoyed by it, but he grew to expect this topic of conversation.
“That depends entirely on her interests, what does Joan even like?”
He looked over at Abe, leaning his arm on the back of his chair.
“She likes.. Uh..” He watched the other fumble over his words, struggling to think of an answer, “Politics! Joan loves sticking it to the man.”
Topher stared blankly, before letting out a huff of air, “Yeah, you’re not right for her.” he turned back to the screen, a smirk plastered on his lips.
Abe groaned, throwing himself backwards onto the bed, looking at a picture of Joan more closely on the phone.
Touch screens still confused him, and his fingers were ultimately too big to do much with them. Still, he always asked Topher to pull up Joans’ account, just so he can get a look. He tried zooming in on the photo, just like Topher tried teaching him how to do.
Instead, he liked the post.
Almost instantly, Abe screamed, throwing the phone on the bed as he sprung up.
“Topher, Topher!”
The other boy jumped at the loud noise, turning around quickly to watch Abe jump around nervously.
“Quiet down! What is your problem?”
“The- the picture! I liked it.”
Topher frowned, rolling his eyes, “So? Who cares, everyone loves attention.”
Abe instantly fell to his knees, crawling over to him, “I care! If I liked the post, Joan will find out! Then she’ll think I was stalking her account!”
Topher grimaced as Abe put his hands on his shoulders, his ears straining from the high pitched panic. With a sigh, he pulled the other boys’ hands off of him, “Don’t worry, it’s not like it was even your account, it was-” he froze instantly, dread overcoming his features, “mine.. Abe, you idiot!”
He quickly ran over to the bed, picking his phone up. He unliked the post as quickly as possible, despite already knowing the notification was sent.
Letting out a sigh, he hung his head, “Thank you, Abe. Now Joan will think I was the one looking through her page.”
“I didn’t mean to! Maybe she won't even notice?”
Topher glared, watching Abe anxiously bite at his nails. No, he knew she would, she wasn’t exactly that popular. Her amount of friends isn’t that much, once she sees he is sure she will check out his account and notice who he is.
“She definitely will, you don’t think she’s stupid do you? Have some standards for the girl you supposedly have a crush on.”
Abe blinked, before quickly shaking his head, “No, of course she’s not stupid. I just- I meant that the whole smartphone thing is still so confusing to me so maybe it is for her too!”
They stared at each other for a moment, one in exasperation and the other in hope, and as Topher began to open his mouth to respond in surely a snarky way, his phone dinged.
Topher exchanged glances with both the phone and with Abe, the notification showing a message request.
“Oh my God, what did I tell you? I told you, and that was only in a few seconds.”
Abe began to apologize profusely again, going to sit next to him on the bed.
The other groaned, going to accept the request. They both watched Joan type, for what felt like ages, until the bubble disappeared and up popped letters. A question, asking Topher something he had no idea how to explain without throwing Abe under the bus.
Why are you looking at my account?
He’s done for, absolutely screwed, and it was all thanks to his ridiculous horrible new friend, who couldn’t spend the time to get his own phone, or his own account, or smaller less stupid fingers!
“I’m telling her. I’m going to tell Joan it was you, I’m not letting her think I was looking.”
Abe instantly shrieked, reaching for his phone. The two scuffled on the bed, one trying to keep the phone while the other tried to take it, almost falling off in the process.
“You can’t tell her, please just think of a lie! Make something up, please!”
Topher instantly scoffed, struggling to keep the device in his hand, “Why would I do that? It’s your fault, you think of something!”
“I’m not a good liar!”
“Oh, and I suppose that’s supposed to mean I am?!”
“Compared to me, well-”
“Fine, just get off of me!”
Abe instantly let go, Topher breathing heavily while glaring at him. His frown twitched, before he turned his attention back to the screen, thinking of what to type.
“What’re you going to tell her?”
“Does it look like I’m typing right now? I don’t know!”
Topher was shaking in anger, sweat dripping from his forehead. What exactly was he going to say? People typically look at someone's account when they like the person, or at least are friends. He doesn’t relate to either of those things.
No doubt, if Joan were to ask someone herself, they would try telling her that he liked her. The very thought made him feel sick, he wanted nothing to do with her.
It was bad enough he had to deal with hearing about her all the time from Abe, he’d rather die than be speaking to her right now. This was all Abes’ fault anyways, he’s always looking at her account with his phone, and he has never done this before until now.
Suddenly, a thought came to his mind. It would ultimately ruin one thing for him, but it would ruin multiple things for Abe. The best revenge, that he could think of at least.
He began to type, hunching over as Abe tried to read his screen. His thumbs padded against the screen, before hitting send, smirking smugly as he slowly looked at Abe.
“So, what’d you send?”
“Go ahead, take a look.” He held the phone out towards him, awaiting to see his reaction.
There on the screen, was a sentence that Abe had sincerely not been expecting.
sorry, my boyfriend was telling me about you and i got curious.
He blinked a few times, reading it over and over again hoping he saw wrong, and when the letters weren’t changing, his eyes widened.
“Topher, what the hell?!”
The other took his phone back, the smirk still plastered on his face, “Relax, I didn’t say who my ‘boyfriend’ was, but if she asks…”
Abe frowned, instantly upset. Joan couldn’t think that Topher and him were dating, then she would never get with him.
“Why would you do that? It was an honest mistake, I swear!”
“Yeah well, your honest mistake was going to get Joan believing that I was interested in her,” Topher grimaced up at him, “which, I’m not. Besides, did you want me to tell her it was you who was snooping?”
The other rubbed the back of his neck, “It would be better than her thinking we’re dating.”
Topher shrugged, his phone dinging again. Both of their attention instantly went to it, Topher quickly replying before Abe could try and grab it again.
“You told her it was me, didn’t you.”
“Sure did.”
“Isn’t your account anonymous anyways?”
“Abe, please. My username is literally top-her69, it doesn’t really ward off those who know my name.”
He instantly hung his head, burrowing it in the palms of his hands. He was doomed, Joan was going to think he was dating Topher, and for what? Just because of an accident? Some friend that short little weirdo was.
“Look, it’s not all that bad. Maybe this could be your chance,” Abe instantly perked up, a questioning noise at the back of his throat, “if Joan thinks you’re dating someone, maybe she’ll do something about it.”
Topher pocketed his phone, leaning against the wall his bed was near.
“A lot of girls act this way. Once someone is unattainable, it’s all they want- don’t go telling people I said that though.”
Abe hummed, weighing his options. If he were to tell Joan that Topher was lying, or well- joking, he’d then have to explain the real reason to it. On the other hand, Topher was right in a way. He’s seen a ton of movies where girls acted that way, so if he weren’t single, Joan would show some interest right?
Honestly, this was all impractical, but he had run out of options in trying to win her over. Something had to stick, and he supposed this was the one thing he hadn’t tried yet; a last resort, in a way.
“Well, fine, but we’ll have to figure out the whole backstory to this. Joan would never believe something like this so quickly, she’s going to ask questions, so we need to flesh this out.”
Topher shrugged, standing up to walk back towards his computer, “That’s fine by me.”
Abe nodded, before pausing, “Wait, what’s in this for you anyways?”
The other frowned, taking a moment to think about it. Truthfully, there really wasn’t anything for him in the long term. He had just wanted to get out of Joan having any fraction of a thought that he was interested in her, he supposed that was enough.
“I’d rather die than Joan, or anyone, thinking I like her.”
“Why’s that thought? Joan’s a great person.”
Topher sat back down in his chair, “She’s not really my type.” Abe made a noise behind him, one he could only pick up as confusion.
“Are you sure? I figured you would be into a girl like her, you’re all ‘woke’ these days right?”
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, “What is that supposed to mean? Are you implying that Joan isn’t attractive to everyone?”
Abe shrugged, “Well, she certainly isn’t to you, apparently.”
Topher couldn’t exactly argue with that, so he just put his attention back onto the internet. The two of them sat in silence for a good while, the situation settling into the pits of their stomachs.
Abe just stared at the ceiling, not asking for the phone back after everything. He was sure he wouldn’t be given it anyways, so he let it go.
Joan thinks he’s dating someone now, and if she used her head she would know it was Topher. That thought made him squirm, just a bit. He couldn’t imagine dating someone like him, let alone a man in the first place.
He’ll have to just tell her that he’s confused, or was confused, and wanted to figure it out. Once he gets her, of course.
The logic wasn’t entirely sound, but the point of lying was to mess with the brain. Topher seemed confident, so surely it should work. Joan was just as indecisive as he was, if growing up with her was anything to go by.
Of course, this would all require Joan to actually like him enough in the first place for this to work. It would ultimately be all for nothing if that wasn’t the case.
Like he said, Joan would have questions. How they got together, why they got together, if Abe liked men (he didn’t), just a bunch of questions he currently doesn’t have the answer to. They have to go to school tomorrow, so everything should be figured out by tonight.
Abe sat up, watching Topher type away at his keyboard, before he sighed and stood, walking over.
“Not now, Abe. I’m in the middle of a complicated debate, someone really thinks you can just put sauce over pasta and call it spaghetti, can you believe it?”
The other sighed, looking around before finding a glowing button, instantly making the screen fade to black.
Topher stared, his face slowly turning red in anger, “Abe, what the hell?!”
“Sorry man, but we gotta figure out the game plan here. School starts tomorrow and I know Joan is instantly going to single me out, we need a story.”
A groan rang out in the room, and Abe went to sit back down on the bed as Topher grumbled to himself, before coming to sit back over with him.
After the two got situated, they began to theorize possible scenarios.
“Let’s just say after we started to hang out, you finally understood my amazing charm and confessed to me.” Abe batted his eyelashes, just barely moving out the way from Topher going to shove his head.
“Absolutely not, I want you to be the one to confess to me.”
He frowned down at Topher, rolling his eyes, “Why? This was your whole idea anyways?”
Topher shrugged, looking away.
“Yes well, no one ever really shows an interest in me. If we’re going to fake-date for your ultimate benefit, consider this my payment.”
Abe grumbled, “Fine, then I’ll be the one who saw your charm, or lack thereof.”
That time he wasn’t able to dodge Topher's shove, and just barely caught himself from falling off the bed.
It took a few more hours to get their plan figured out, but eventually, it came to an end. They had their story, down to the very last detail, and it was etching towards midnight already.
"Alright, I think we got everything right. Just remember it all for tomorrow, and let’s get ready for bed."
Abe nodded, the two of them brushing their teeth and getting into more comfortable clothes. This would be their third sleepover, the first one having failed miserably. The second one wasn’t that bad, Topher had actually been able to stay off the internet for a total of 20 minutes.
So, the two had agreed to hang out again, and it was safe to say this one was a disaster just as the first, if the entire Joan incident was anything to go off of.
As they both got into Topher’s bed, a comfortable silence took over. That was, until Abe spoke; “Hey, if we’re fake-dating, is it gay to share a bed now?”
Topher instantly opened his eyes, frowning as he turned towards Abe.
“What a ridiculous question, neither you nor I even are actually gay. Why would this change anything?”
Abe nodded absently, “No, no- you’re right. My bad, I’m just so nervous right now.”
The other scoffed, turning back around.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about if you have no gay intentions or thoughts, Abe. Just go to sleep.”
“Right.. right.”
Just go to sleep. No gay thoughts, totally easy. Right?
CHAPTER END