CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER: 06
Topher hadn't gotten much sleep that night.
He remembered laying there, for what must’ve been hours, just staring at the sleeping form of Abe. The way his chest rose, the rhythmic pattern of his heartbeat in his own ears drowning out the soft snores beside him.
Liking Abe was relatively easy, it felt smooth to breathe in the same space as the other. Of course, the thought scared him deeply, but it was easy.
Abe was his first friend, and despite them both being men, it’d make sense that he was his first crush too. It made him worried though that, in a sick way, the only reason he had a crush was because Abe was the only one around him.
That if it had been someone else, Topher would’ve gotten feelings either way.
It sent him spiraling for a good hour or so last night, but in the end he decided that didn’t matter much. He liked Abe now, so that meant his friend was special, who cares about hypotheticals.
Now he was wide awake still, with the sun already rising, casting the room into a dark blue haze.
Abe was going to confess to Joan today, and he’d have to sit here for the rest of his life knowing he caused that outcome.
He was so angry, because he genuinely was happy for Abe, if only for a moment. The realization of his feelings completely ruined everything for himself.
It was like a sickness, the insidious feeling eating him alive.
Topher was never that much of a good person, and he knew that. What hurt him the most was that despite that, there was some good in him, if only a little. Which meant he would let Abe go, because he knew he wasn’t right for him.
That was hard though, and he didn’t want to yet, not entirely at least. He was inherently stubborn, and selfish, and despite the fact that he’s letting Joan win, he won't disappear from Abe’s life.
So, he woke Abe up, and the two of them got ready for school.
He stood there, listening to the other speak about Joan, and nodded along.
He smiled, and walked side by side with him, knowing the outcome of today.
He did everything but cry, but scream, but fight.
Being a good friend came with consequences, and he was glad to have not had any until now.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something, man.”
Abe’s voice brought him from his misery, and he focused his attention onto that, “Hm?”
“When I tell Joan today, can you be there?”
That caused Topher to trip over his feet slightly, steadying himself before Abe could give a helping hand, “What?!”
“Not- you don’t have to be there there with me, just.. be nearby?”
He took in the nervousness of the others’ face, his stance, the anxiety waving off of him, and he sighed.
“Sure,” Topher frowned, lightly pushing Abe’s hand away from him as he continued to walk, “I’ll be there.”
Not long after, the two found themselves in front of the school, and he violently fought the urge to reach for the others’ hand.
With a deep breath, he walked inside with Abe trailing after.
He had an entire day to fully come to terms with the fact of what’s going to happen.
Abe planned on telling Joan after school let out, they both had roughly seven hours to prepare, for entirely different reasons.
Topher wished he could throw a tantrum, to ask Abe to look at him instead, but he knew he was no Joan.
As the two got things from their lockers, they made a point to not look in Joans’ direction, again for entirely different reasons.
He knew Abe was speaking to him, or trying to, but all he could hear in his ears was water.
His feet moved on their own, to their class. The door was so close, and yet so far, and he still couldn’t hear.
Topher never felt so alone before, which is ironic since that’s all he has been for years.
Something warmed jolted him out of his thoughts, and he looked down to find a hand holding his. Suddenly, sound filled his ears, unmuffled.
“Hey, you okay?”
Abe stared down at him, and he could only stare back up, at a loss for words.
“I..” His eyes darted away, spotting Harriet, “I’ll be right back..”
He looked back down at their hands, before ripping his away, ignoring the seering feeling. It burned, almost, and it felt both extremely good and horribly bad.
Abe called out for him, but he ignored it.
Topher’s legs felt like jello, jiggly and weak, as he made his way over to her. She was on her way to walk towards their direction anyways, as they share first period together. All he had to do was walk in front of her path towards her, and she instantly slowed down.
“Woah, you look like a mess! Did things go badly yesterday?”
He shook his head, his voice cracking slightly, “Abe’s confessing to Joan today.”
Harriet stared, before smiling brightly, “Oh that’s wonderful!”
Topher keened quietly, and she paused, “Oh.. oh, Topher.. I’m so sorry.”
“He wants me to be there, Harriet!” He looked around, bringing his voice to a frantic whisper, “Abe wants to confess to Joan, while I’m there! How am I supposed to do that?!”
Harriet looked at him sadly, and he hated it.
“Look why don’t we just.. go to class, for now. We can discuss this at lunch?”
He frowned, clenching his jaw hard enough to hurt, “Fine.”
Talking to her was of no help, and he honestly didn’t know what he expected. All he knew was he couldn’t have stayed next to Abe for longer than he was, and she was an easy distraction.
He watched her as she sidestepped him, walking into their class.
Knowing Abe was in there both shook him to his core and comforted him, and he didn’t know which was worse.
With a heavy sigh, he went inside.
Classes dragged on, in excruciating ways. Throughout them, for the ones shared with Abe, were torture. Being expected to interact with him hurt, especially since the other had no idea anything was going on with him.
The ones without him hurt just as much though, because he couldn’t see him. He couldn’t see the Abe from before he gets with Joan, and he knew that Abe was time-limited now, and that hurt too.
So yeah, the day he was experiencing was absolutely miserable.
Fortunately, lunch came eventually, and he quickly went to seek out Frida instead of Harriet. He wouldn’t say he particularly likes either of them, but out of the two he disliked Frida the least.
She’s been ultimately helpful, in a way.
It didn’t take him long, as she was in the cafeteria where you would typically find someone having lunch. The only downside however, is that of course she wouldn’t be alone.
Joan was there.
Topher knew the two were friends, but seeing her there only made him more nervous. Not to mention, of course Cleo would be there, Frida hanging off her as usual.
Everyone knows that Abe and Cleo are exes, and being confronted with the fact that he’s definitely not Abe’s type is just salt in the already gaping wound.
He cautiously walked up behind Frida, pulling on her sleeve slightly.
Cleo was the first to turn, scowling before noticing it was him, rolling her eyes. Frida looked back almost immediately after, “Oh, hey man!” she smiled at him.
Then Joan turned, and she just stared quietly. He grimaced, before clearing his throat, “I need to uh, talk to you..”
Frida looked between him and Cleo, before nodding, “Right, sure dude.” Cleo went to stand up with her, “I’ll come too.”
Topher eyed her curiously, his frown deepening, “You don’t have to.”
She stared down at him, smirking.
“Yeah, but I have a feeling I know what this is about.”
“Oh, great.” He replied flatly, ignoring Frida’s snort.
The three of them started walking away, out of the cafeteria. He honestly didn’t have a specific place to go, but it would seem Frida had that covered, because she just pulled the two of them into a janitor's closet.
“Alright little man, so what happened yesterday?”
For some reason he couldn’t describe, he felt safe with her. Despite Cleo being there, all he could focus on was Frida, and suddenly everything that’s happened in the past few hours caught up to him.
His throat felt tight, and his words cracked with it, “Abe and Joan are going to be dating after today.”
Cleo scoffed, and he pointedly ignored her.
“You sure? How do you know, Joan didn’t say anything.”
Topher groaned, yanking on both sides of his hat.
“Abe is going to confess to her later today, and she likes him so they’re going to get together.”
Frida frowned, “Oh, and that’s not good for you, is it..?”
He shook his head, “I guess you were right. I didn’t realize it until yesterday.. it sucks.”
She sucked in a breath, grimacing as she looked up at Cleo.
Cleo sighed, putting a hand on her hip, “So you like Abe, huh?”
“I guess so.” Topher scowled, not wanting to look at her. He knew she was going to make fun of him, she wasn’t exactly the nicest person.
“Well, look,” He heard a clicking sound, and glanced up at her looking in a hand-held mirror at herself, “Abe is a good guy and all, but he’s shallow. Not on purpose, but hey, that’s just him.”
She put the mirror away, looking down at him, “He likes good looking people, which you’re not, yet.”
He frowned, lifting a brow at her in confusion.
Frida gasped, looking between the two of them, “Are you saying-”
“Yeah, he needs a makeover.”
Instantly, he started to feel cornered, trapped, “Um, no, that’s fine actually. I don’t want that-”
“Look, Gopher,”
“It’s Topher.”
“Bless you, now- look, Abe only started liking Joan because JFK liked her. Why did JFK start liking Joan? Makeover.”
She said it like it was the most obvious conclusion, like it was something everyone should have known, and follow.
“What you’re working with right now isn’t working, Abe likes more than.. God, what are you even wearing?” Cleo looked down at him in pure disgust, picking lint off of his hat.
He jumped away, knocking into a shelf, “Hey, don’t touch me!”
Frida held up her hands, “Woah, woah! Chill, babe keep going.”
“Right.. anyways, everyone knows he used to be with me, and look at me. I’m perfect, in every way, right?”
She looked down at Frida, who gave her a thumbs up while smiling at her.
Topher gagged at the sight.
“So I would know what he wants, and Joan isn’t that bad of a catch I suppose, so he clearly doesn’t have very high standards in general. I mean, you two are friends.”
“Can you get to the point?”
Cleo sighed, “Fri-Fri and I will give you a makeover soon. Even if he dates that loser, he’ll be bound to notice you anyways.”
Topher frowned, staring at her. She seemed ultimately serious, and Frida was encouraging right beside her. It wasn’t that it didn’t sound like a genuine idea, but..
“This isn’t a movie from the early 2000’s, makeovers like that aren’t realistic.” He looked away, crossing his arms, “There’s no saving me anyways, I’m no Joan of Arc or Cleopatra.”
Frida smiled reassuringly, “You’re right, you’re not. Which isn’t a bad thing, Joan and Cleo are so different in appearances and personality. Yet Abe has liked both of them, you might have a chance.”
“It doesn’t matter if I might, he’s going to be taken by the end of the day- which I’ll have to see by the way! He wants me to be there when he confesses!”
The two girls paused, looking down at him for an extended amount of time.
“Uh, that’s weird.” Frida was the first to speak up, looking back at Cleo who only nodded.
“I think he’s just nervous, I’m his friend so obviously I’d help him through that.”
“Do you want to do that though?”
“Obviously not!” He threw his hands out, accidentally shouting louder than before. He froze, before letting out a strangled sigh, “This is so ridiculous, I don’t even know why I tried to talk to people today about this.”
Topher opened the door, “There’s nothing to even do, it’s not like I’m suddenly going to be liked back-”
“Liked back?”
He instantly froze, looking up to see Abe.
“Uh-”
Abe looked up from him, noticing the other two, “What’s going on in here?”
Topher choked back a response, unable to take his eyes off of him.
“We.. we were just talking about Topher’s crush!”
He instantly looked backwards at Frida, his eyes widening, and she just nervously shook her head smiling.
“You.. like someone?”
The tone of his voice made Topher look back, but Abe looked perfectly fine. Did he just imagine that Abe sounded strangled, just so he can feel better about himself? He really was pathetic.
“.. Yes.. I do.”
Abe cocked his head to the side, looking confused, “Who? We always talk about my crush, you could’ve said something.”
“Uh…” Topher looked around quickly, letting out a choked yelp as Frida put her hand on his shoulder, “JFK!”
He froze, looking at Cleo.
What the Hell.
“JFK..?”
Topher ignored Abe’s gaze, “Yep.. I totally like JFK.”
“I thought you were-”
“Well, you thought wrong!” His voice cracked once again today, for what he felt was the thousandth time.
Abe let out an odd noise, “You said though that-”
Frida started laughing nervously, “Well, would you look at the time, lunch is almost over, think it’s time for us to go!” she grabbed Cleo’s hand, the two scooting past Topher out of the closet.
Just as they were about to speed walk away, Frida gripped Topher's shoulder, “Sorry Abe, my man, we aren’t done with Topher just yet, so.. bye!”
He let himself get dragged away, staring at Abe dumbly as he was stared at right back.
Topher let himself get lost to the concept of time as his eyes never left the spot he was looking in, even after they were in a completely different hallway.
Soon enough he was thrown into another room, this time connected to a sink, “Ow, did you have to do that?!”
Frida sheepishly shrugged, and that’s when he noticed he was in the girls’ bathroom.
“Good, no one's here.” Cleo said, coming back from surveying the stalls.
“Oh well that’s just great because what the fuck!” Topher exclaimed, raising his arms in the air.
Cleo at least had the decency to look a little apologetic, “It was reflex! I was just thinking about how Abe started liking Joan because of JFK and.. well..”
“Actually, hang on..” Frida spoke up, a hand to her chin. She looked deep in thought for a moment, as she stared at Topher, “This might work in your favor, if you think about it.”
Topher looked fed up, scoffing out a laugh, “Wonderful, I’d love to hear how my ‘crush on JFK’ is going to help me.”
“Well, it’s like Cleo said, maybe you can make him.. jealous?”
He just stared at her, before letting out an aggravated groan.
“No, that’s exactly it. Look Gopher, just talk to him about JFK. I’m pretty sure the two of them are.. ugh, friends now, but there’s got to be some jealousy between the two still. One sided, but, you know.”
“My name isn’t Gopher!”
“Whatever! Who cares, just do it!”
He heaved a sigh, putting his hands in his face, “Okay. Fine.”
Frida let out a whoop, throwing her fist in the air.
“This is gonna be so fun, just wait!”
“Yeah, once you’re done being miserable and pathetic you’ll find this jealousy revenge tactic pretty fun.”
Topher frowned, looking back up, “Whatever. I need to go back to class now.”
“Right,” Frida nodded, taking out her phone. He felt his vibrate in his pocket, “I just sent you my number through my account, text me if you need to.”
He watched the two girls leave, before leaning against the wall sighing.
Then he realized he was in the girls bathroom and quickly left, going back to class.
How was he even going to pull this off?
CHAPTER END